I’ll be honest because I am very raw with this.
Right now, I probably feel terrified to launch anything. I think I even hate it a little.
Because when I decide to launch something, it’s like the universe hears it and goes: “Oh, so you want to explore this topic to its depth, in all possible colours?”
It feels launching for me is something different then “business as usual” – it’s a sacred, ancient path of becoming.
And sometimes I get jealous watching others launch. They open the doors, fill the group, and then just enjoy it. I know launching is an initiation for everyone.
But for me, it often feels like walking through fire on the exact theme I chose to guide others through.
Because my path is embodied wisdom. Not teaching, not educating, not selling. I’m the one who explores a topic 20 layers deeper than most.
And damn, this time, I chose to launch the year long mastermind immersion with the theme: stepping into a new level of self-leadership and anchoring into your personal power (“The Rise Voice“). I thought I had explored that deeply already through the years, through a million angles of how we leak power. And I felt ready to share, I already even did one round of this awesome journey with a group. I felt I grew and embodied profound levels about the topic.
But the moment I committed and officially said “launch”… The universe kicked in. It threw me straight into a storm (what I call the massive “washing machine process”) to go even deeper into the exact themes I had prepared.
And more.
This always happens. I also end up walking through the exact work & themes the specific group will be moving through too.
So, lately, I’ve been pendulating between two identities:
The one who makes things happen (the magical, unshakable manifestor)
And the one that life happens to her (disempowered, stuck victim).
One moment I’m tapped into aligned channel so clear, so powerfully that when I desire something, it arrives 15 minutes later. I feel strong, ultimate soft power embodiment. Then the next, I crash into the most disempowered, uncomfortable, unsafe state I’ve ever known.
Victimhood. Survival. Unworthiness.
And still, I’m learning to surrender in the process…
How to trust again when my trust that things are working out turned out to be my lessons and my experiences, not the evidence.
It’s truly next level safety when you realise that maybe this is not that I am doing something wrong, often it’s not even mine but it is something I must experience in order to move into what I really want, in order to alchemize it into wisdom and hold next level space for my clients…
Some days, I wonder why I chose to go this deep in life. And very quickly after I know that I would never trade it for any other path. Because this is the price and the gift of walking as embodied wisdom.
You don’t just speak it. You become it. And that changes everything: how you lead, how you hold space, how you create.
So if you’re in the washing machine too…
If your launch, your work, your life, your identity or your next step is shaking you open instead of lifting you up, it might not be a sign you’re off track. It might be a sign you’re right on it.
Some of us aren’t here to do things the easy way. We’re here to do it the true way. And that path? It asks everything from you. But it also gives back in ways no surface path ever could.
This is how wisdom rises.
Not in a straight line.
But through fire, surrender, and the courage to stay with what’s real.
More about The Rise Voice and way to join is HERE
