I am building my life like a sanctuary now…

One day during one of my business trips, I woke up at the super luxurious hotel in Spain. I reached out to press the button near my bed, and curtains opened up to show me a splendid ocean view. My eyes got wide open when this magnificent harbor panorama was slowly revealing itself through the wide to the floor window in this extremely elegant 21st-floor suite.

It was breathtaking, and I didn’t even have to get up from a bed to arrange this treat.

“What a way to wake up?” I thought to myself.

“I guess this is it? I reached the point of my true success and accomplishment. I own a cozy apartment in the city center of Amsterdam, I have a high position and well-paid job, I am traveling to all those amazing and luxurious places, and they are preparing me for promotion…”

But before I could go further on that train of thoughts, my body hit me with the harsh reality:

“And yet, you constantly are so tired and on the verge of burnout…” 

Indeed, I was so exhausted, I could hardly get up. All I was longing just to rest and sleep more. My body felt sour, and what seemed the worst, I simply couldn’t take that awesomeness around me in. My senses were so numbed and overstimulated that I couldn’t enjoy or feel anything. And even worse, I didn’t have time even for this internal dialogue to end. I had to rush for a business meeting starting at 8.30am.

And that’s how all my energy shifted towards forcing my body to move and pushing down all those screams from the body on top of the pile called “I don’t have time to listen to you now”. 

And that’s it. 

That’s how happened my 5 minutes glory of the dream I was working so insanely hard towards all my life…

Picture from my personal archives which I took from the place. 

 I remember vividly preparing myself for a meeting, brushing my hair and staring at my pale face in the mirror. The sadness of my heart was connecting with me through the almost crying eyes. It was desperately grabbing the momentum again, so it shouted: 

“Do you realize? This is so fundamentally wrong? You’ve been so lied to. You did all that people told you about “great happiness” and “success” regarding climbing the career ladders, and you’ve never felt so dead, numb, and disconnected from inside.”

I will never forget this moment because it was a pivotal moment of my life, leading to many radical changes after…

I quit a decade-built successful corporate career. I changed my first name to Elaira (because why not to be who you want to be), and I promised myself to live my fullest humanly possible potential. I didn’t know what that was, but I felt there must be more to life. I just knew it can’t be it… I couldn’t imagine it from where I was; I didn’t have many role models either. So, I decided to be my own role model and walk the path less walked. I committed to doing whatever it takes, as long as it takes, no matter the cost, even if I die…

And my oh my, it was a roller coaster, to say the least, and through several years now I died tons of times inside or better to say, “those false identities I built through years.” But I kept pushing through! I kept choosing myself in the best ability I knew moment by moment while breaking structures, concepts, beliefs, and status quo around me and in me. I gave space and listened to all those pains and emotions, I ignored and pushed down in my body. More space I have, more even my ancestor’s pains started purging through.

I had to surrender to uncertainty because it was the only way. I could vaguely imagine the future, and at times I had no clue what to do or where I was going. Often I had to choose my truth stubbornly despite all the odds. I did tons of mis-takes and tried again, tried differently. Out of all, losing people probably was the hardest part. It was not an easy journey… But somewhere deep inside, I just knew it’s the right way and step by step, day by day I got to where I am now. And by far, I know it’s not the end, feels just the beginning…

And it led me to so much grounded calmness and inner peace (was new feeling to me).  Also, truer love, the joy of creating, more authentic and deeper connections, my own business with exciting ideas, more genuine self-expression, and effortless flow of energy of life.

My heart feels softer, my body feels lighter, my senses start to feel the stuff I never picked up before, my intuition got insanely strong, my connection with nature never felt so alive and profound. My days feel more fulfilling, and my essence feels an incredibly liberating sense of freedom like never before.

I feel deeply in love with life, my body, myself, nature, the world, the people, and the simple things around me.

I do less nowadays, but I feel much more. And I must say, I never felt alive like I am today. I have beautiful dreams for the future and I am building my life with so much kindness, love, respect and grace, treating it like a sanctuary…

Nobody told me success could feel this way, so I had to go into the wild and discover it for myself… And if that is not a success, I don’t know what is…But hey, as I said, somewhere deep inside, it feels just a juicy beginning and I’m just scratching the surface for what is humanly possible.

I would love to end up my sharing with a beautiful Jeff  Foster poem where he summarizes my own journey really well.

How I became a Warrior

Once, I ran from fear
so fear controlled me.
Until I learned to hold fear like a newborn.
Listen to it, but not give in.
Honour it, but not worship it.
Fear could not stop me anymore.
I walked with courage into the storm.
I still have fear,
but it does not have me.

Once, I was ashamed of who I was.
I invited shame into my heart.
I let it burn.
It told me, “I am only trying
to protect your vulnerability”.
I thanked shame dearly,
and stepped into life anyway,
unashamed, with shame as a lover.

Once, I had great sadness
buried deep inside.
I invited it to come out and play.
I wept oceans. My tear ducts ran dry.
And I found joy right there.
Right at the core of my sorrow.
It was heartbreak that taught me how to love.

Once, I had anxiety.
A mind that wouldn’t stop.
Thoughts that wouldn’t be silent.
So I stopped trying to silence them.
And I dropped out of the mind,
and into the Earth.
Into the mud.
Where I was held strong
like a tree, unshakeable, safe.

Once, anger burned in the depths.
I called anger into the light of myself.
I felt its shocking power.
I let my heart pound and my blood boil.
Listened to it, finally.
And it screamed, “Respect yourself fiercely now!”.
“Speak your truth with passion!”.
“Say no when you mean no!”.
“Walk your path with courage!”.
“Let no one speak for you!”
Anger became an honest friend.
A truthful guide.
A beautiful wild child.

~ Jeff Foster

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Business strategies and goals. Why don’t they work?

When you start your own business, what are the first things you decide to do? Probably hire someone to make your logo, your website, business strategy & goals? Maybe ask someone to help with some marketing funnel, some sales strategy?

If you think that direction, maybe stop for a second and hear me out!

In my experience, this is the first most significant mistake that I notice with starting entrepreneurs – too much focus on the business goals and strategies while jumping through some more critical steps. And I do get the excitement of creating, getting out there, making it real. You were dreaming about it long; you are ready. And I fully celebrate and encourage that! And you know what, I’ve been there myself, and I failed miserably making that same mistake too. That is part of the entrepreneurship package – trial and error, doing and improving.

So, let’s not rush buying other people’s sales, marketing, purpose, and money strategies just yet. A note to emphasize – all kinds of external stuff! Let’s make sure this action comes from the right place first.

Don’t get me wrong. Nothing is wrong with the goals and strategies themselves. But there are even a few reasons why it may not work. Let me share my observations and learning.

1. They often disconnect you from your embodiment in a presence.

Firstly, they often disconnect you from what is here and now while putting too far away in the future and disconnecting you from taking in life through your body and senses.

I notice how people start to miss details around, what is in front of their nose, what life is inviting them towards because their minds are so set in stone towards a goal that may not even be their authentic soul voice.

I had a client who was stuck in structuring her products on the website and creating a business strategy. She was so blocked that she missed even a few customers knocking on the door with the clarity of service they needed from her. She disconnected and locked herself up in the “mind tower” so much that she practically forgot to explore what is already happening in her world. When she realized and shifted the focus to what her business was all about – the clients and their needs – her business and client base accelerated at great speed. Her strategy and how to structure products on the website unfolded itself in clarity without working hard on it.

2. What works for others, may not work for you.

Secondly, strategies and plans are great, but what worked for others may not work for you. Isn’t it the time where we finally stop living that conditioning “one size fits all” and continue asking people to tell us what to do? It never worked for me. How about you? Aren’t you even starting your own business because you are a bit tired of others telling you what to do?

The Human Design tool can be a great starting point to understand how you are wired innately. How you relate to the world, how you manifest, manage your energy, and how to make decisions. What are your innate gifts, how to do marketing your way, areas to delegate or make a profit, etc? It can be quite eye-opening and save a lot of time and money trying all those strategies out there blindly. If you are not familiar with Human design, you can read more about it here.

3. It’s actually about your capacity, not a strategy.

All those strategies and even working on them harder are doomed to fail if you don’t work on your capacity to receive, hold and handle your vision, growth, and expansion. You have to look and shed what is holding you back and expand your ability to contain more of what you dream of. That’s what people don’t talk about so much and it is one of the most overlooked things in building business. But that’s one of the most essential ingredients for your leveling up successively and consistently.

Let’s take an example that you may have heard. The person won a million euros in a lottery and a few years later is completely broke. Why? What happened? Because this person has patterns that sabotage the financial abundance, and no matter how much money comes in, they will recreate life back to poverty. Those are real-life stories that happen over and over again. No matter how objectively brilliant that method or strategy is, it will collapse sooner or later because it doesn’t have a firm foundation to stand on for the person who tries to implement it.

That’s where the real focus should be first – expanding your ability and container to embody your business’s real potential. In other words, go through all the areas and notice where your blockages are. Widen your competency to receive and handle your financial success, claiming your gifts, new identity, direction, having clear boundaries, sustaining strong embodiment, unlocking your capacity for visibility, creating your life and support structure that enables you to grow.

Those things always go deep, and it may take more time than you may anticipate at first, but that’s your sustainable business foundation for success, growth, and actually the fastest track for long-term victory. Consequently, you can build any business strategies or goals firmer, or it will emerge organically.

What you create comes from you. You are your business despite what business you do! And that’s the best strategy you can invest as you start putting yourself out there. It will pay off tons.

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How to choose the right Human Design consultation?

Are you searching for Human Design Consultant/Analyst but don’t know which one to choose?

Well, there are 2 types according to my investigation. None of them are better or worse. It’s more what works for you and what do you need. So, there are:

CLASSIC ONES that follow the raw teaching and use the language of the founder Ra Uru Hu. Their aim is to transmute the knowledge and language by quoting direct source so it stays original. If that feels close to the heart, you can go to:

Jovian Archive (founded by Human Design father Ra Uru Hu and his family in 1999. You can find a long list of people to choose from including the original founder Ra Uru Hu recordings).

My personal favorite teacher who has her own school – Laveena Arches

MODERN ONES embody the material and aim to translate it through them and their own gifts. The purpose is to bring that information in an authentic form that people understand and relate to. For this, here are some examples, just to name a few:

Karen Parker is an awesome bridge between old and new. She studied with Ra but then realized her purpose is to transcend the language of Human Design and created her own movement of Quantum Human Design.

Ayla Verhijen (she is Human Design and Marketing blend gem).

Jenna Zoe

Vaness Henry

Samantha Zagar (Human Design and Therapy)

BG5 Business Institute (Business translation and topics).

And there are many more with different specializations and twists to it.

My own Human Design sessions


I was trained by classic consultants who even worked directly with founder Ra himself. But in my sessions, I choose to be a Modern Consultant.

For me, it is key not only to share all the knowledge but that it really reaches you! I often adapt the language to people’s design, where generally energy flows based on their design and choose the journey intuitively.

I love to meet WHO and WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW in your life. Sometimes we focus more on conditioning and shadow areas, sometimes more on how to manage energy and make the right decisions for you, sometimes on the life path, core essence and traits, sometimes we go very practical business language about money and profit potential in your design, sometimes all of it.

For me, it is all about what is alive in you at the moment, how can I make it practical for you, how can we find the access point to go deeper to the core, how can it be helpful.

Otherwise, Human Design wisdom is just information, just another cool tool for your mind to play with but not really having a knowing what to do with it. And believe me, this tool is not built for that.

What is your experience with Human Design? And what are your go-to sources? Do you know what type of consultant/analyst fits you?

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Business platforms that enable your full sovereignty & data security


Running business with full personal freedom and integrity, is what I stand for, what I care about hugely and I believe that’s what our new “business paradigm” fundamentally is all about.

My allergy for manipulation and brainwash reached all times high. I can’t tolerate even slightly what I sense or experience comes with energy of harm, abuse, manipulation, deceit, destroys nature, tries to control, limits my freedom, don’t hear me or my needs, don’t honor my boundaries, and wants to take my power without my consent.

I believe it is just a matter of time, till privacy-intrusive services exploiting and manipulating our data disappear from the market.

So, for a while now, I did huge “INTEGRITY AUDIT” of all the platforms, providers, partners and tools I built my business with. I try to examine each new provider as much as I can. I look for what they stand for, their “why”, their values, their management and team, their customer service, etc. At the end, it is a close relationship I go into here. Some services I use almost on a daily basis. I can’t stress enough what a huge impact energetically it had on me after leaving some of them.

Deeper I was digging, more shocking realizations came to me: “how deeply ingrained and normalized harm, manipulation and abuse is in our society, structures and everyday life…”. I was keep thinking to myself: “How can we be OK with it? Why do we continue to allow it?”

As a result, I moved almost to all new platforms and some are still in the exploration stage. I would recommend starting with analyzing which platforms and data you want to have secure and where privacy is absolutely key for you. In case, you want to explore that for yourself too, here are some suggestions of my research:

  • Extra security. Make sure you secure all or at least your key platforms and data with an extra level of security: 2-Factor Authentication (2FA) – Authy, or hardware authentication device (UFA) – Yubikees. Warning here, make sure you install 2FA on several devices and buy at least two UFA keys because if you loose one, there is no customer service which could help you to restore it. You have complete and ultimate ownership of it. So, have your extra “backdoor key ready”.
  • Online security and privacy, use a VPN (Virtual Private Network). Here is probably the most extensive comparison list. It will secure your connection to the internet and give you more unrestricted & anonymous use of the web. In other words, it helps protect your online activities: sending emails, shopping online, or paying bills. Use is, especially when you are in public places.
  • And last but not least, get your camera phone covers for all devices. Just search “camera phone cover” and you will find suggestions with sliding stickers costing just few euros.

These are the great basic starting points in my opinion and if you prefer to go even further, here are a couple of great articles for that:

I will keep updating this page with new information I discover.

What are your favorite non-harming platforms and providers who act with integrity and security? Let’s help each other.

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How people get lost in their careers

‘I’m stuck! I don’t enjoy my career anymore but I’m not sure if I should start something on my own or if I should find another job. I’ve lost my passion for everything.’

This is the most common sentence I hear when people approach me for coaching. And when I dig a little deeper, I hear loss. I hear separation and disconnection from their own truth, people without a compass, trying to find their personal north. For some, it’s like waking up in a foreign country.

‘How did I get here?’

Let me tell you: step by step. And let me show you the way back which you may not expect.

Losing yourself doesn’t happen overnight. It happens when the ‘slave you’ do whatever your body urges you not to. It happens when you make small choices and big decisions according to the ‘not-self’. And it occurs whenever you don’t stand in your truth.

Loosing yourself doesn’t happen overnight. It happens when the ‘slave you’ does whatever your body urges you not to.

Little by little, day by day, you normalize the loss of your unique self until you don’t know who you are anymore and you wake in a foreign land, not knowing how to get home.

The real work doesn’t always lie in the obvious violation of your boundaries, your authenticity or your inner voice. Some people do struggle to enforce their truth in the big things but, for many, the work occurs where most of our daily life resides – in the small choices of life, the routine moments of the day.

Remember, everything you tolerate, you allow, so I would like to invite you to investigate all the small and big boundaries you ignore on a daily basis.

Keep in mind the various boundaries (emotional, mental, physical, spiritual, etc.) and watch for the following in all areas of your life:

  • Every small ‘YES’ (while you mean ‘NO’ and when all ‘NOs’ start piling up).
  • Every small ‘I HAVE TO’ (while you force yourself to be someone you’re not).
  • Every time you swallow self-expression (and you repurpose valuable energy to suppress yourself instead).
  • Every self-sabotaging story like ‘it doesn’t matter, it’s not important, it’s not a big deal’ (when it actually is a big deal, you risk betraying yourself).
  • Every minute you stay in a place or with people ‘just to be nice’ (while everything inside you screams ‘I just want to leave right now, I can’t breathe anymore!’ This is self-abuse).

Remember, everything you tolerate, you allow, so I would like to invite you to investigate all the small and big boundaries you ignore on a daily basis.

The good news is that you end up stuck through your choices. The better news? You always have a choice. This is your fundamental right, and nobody can take that away from you.

So, what do you choose?

Where is your energy leaking? What are the blockages to your natural innate flow? Where have you allowed the ‘not self’ to make decisions on your behalf?

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The chicken soup story

I would like to share a beautiful story about how the world is changing in front of our eyes, the true bonds of affection and how chicken soup can be the new world money.

A young man approached me asking for my coaching services but unable to pay. I immediately noticed his huge potential and extremely beautiful pure heart. I saw this new world wisdom coming out of him which he was not aware of because it was so innate and natural for him, but it was often misunderstood by this world’s rules and rejecting his ways of being.

So, I asked him for some time to reflect and I returned with a newly adapted offer. I asked him to pay a symbolic fee within his budget; bring me some meals and when his financial situation is in a better place – to pay it forward to someone else who will be in need. He liked it and even asked me to put those meals in the contract, and so I did.

Lately, I had been very busy supporting people and I felt really tired. I couldn’t give anymore, so I decided to take a day off, to go within and recharge myself. And guess what? My new awesome client called regarding his meal delivery. Out of all the days, he decided to deliver the food on the day when I needed nourishment the most! Isn’t that the way nature works? A true way of abundance to provide you what you need, when you need it.

I was eating this homemade warm Indonesian chicken soup and my heart kept melting… I quickly realized, it was much more than just a nutritious meal. It was like this magical healing chicken soup made by a Grandmother. Do you recall those? The ones made from love and care. It quickly enriched all of my senses and took me back to those childhood days when I felt safe, carefree, loved and taken care of… I completely merged into it…

And then I thought to myself: What is the price for this moment?  How do you put the price tag on matters that you cannot measure but gives you warmth & true abundance in your heart?

I reflected even more deeply about the times we are in now, how the world is shifting and those young talented people already coming with so much wisdom beyond their years… They do challenge everything from the core. But not boldly, or the pushy way how we used to think about the revolution. They do it with so much more gentleness, openness, and love. I must say, they have much to give and teach us. And they need a different environment to flourish, to bring their new innate wisdom, innovation and different way of being that they already gently ask us for. They are open and seek guidance from us but the era where you tell people what to do because you are older, think to know better or because ‘we always did it this way’ is over…

The youth do challenge everything from the core. But not boldly, or the pushy way how we used to think about the revolution. They do it with so much more gentleness, openness, and love.

A lot of people are waiting for the business to come back to normal. But it is impossible… It will never be the same. If you really pay attention it was already changing in front of our eyes for a while. There is a reason why coaching became the second largest sector to grow in the world in a matter of just a few years. People are questioning things and we will start reshaping even more deeply the way we are or want to be, and how we want to relate which each other fundamentally.

It was talked a lot about how there is so much more than money can’t buy or pay for, how important to accept who you are and each other’s differences, but I guess the talking time is over and we finally have to create and daily live that world where the purity of individuality is above the power of dynamics, rules and rigid structures, where human needs and true connections are above the money and discussions of influence, where you can be you and I can be me.  Because if you are open to this possibility to live for real, it can bring you to unexpected precious places and open your heart, like this decision to help the person from the bottom of my heart did to me… And it doesn’t have to be big, sometimes it is enough just to really hear each other out and receive that Indonesian chicken soup that money can’t buy…

I guess the talking time is over and we finally have to create and daily live that world where the purity of individuality is above the power of dynamics, rules and rigid structures, where human needs and true connections are above the money and discussions of influence, where you can be you and I can be me.

My Favourite Way to Deal with Fear

The words of George Addair often ring through my head: “Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.”

That sounds great, doesn’t it? But what does it mean for you in your daily life? How do you actually do it? How do you go about finding the other side of fear?

When I read this quote, it almost seems like I just need to take one small step across the border between fear and no fear and everything will work out. However, as we know all too well, sometimes taking that first step can be an incredibly difficult and frightening thing. Sadly, there is no way around fear, no bypass. The only way to conquer the fear is to look it in the eyes.

I want to share with you my favorite way to deal with it. There are three steps to this technique.

1.     Name that fear!

First of all, you have to be really honest with yourself and name what kind of fear you are dealing with. This essential first step requires complete truth. Make a list, write it all down, put a finger on it and get to the core of your fear. It’s very important to label and correctly identify as they say “the elephant in the room”.

Ask yourself: “What is it that you are so afraid of?”

Here is a story of one of my own fears…

One of my excuses for not starting my own business was that I didn’t want to work alone. In my corporate career, I had a busy role which involved constantly interacting with people from all over the world. My office door was constantly swinging with people coming and going. It made me alive to be in the heart of business matters and being able to make the difference for people. I not only loved this interaction, but I also loved the opportunity to mix with a multicultural and diverse group of people.

This always gave me so many insights into people and allowed me to see different perspectives. It also invigorated me and provided me with tons of energy. I loved the feeling that is connected to people & business gave me, and I thrived on it.

So, I was very afraid that this need I had wouldn’t be met when I began working for myself as a coach. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to not have any work colleagues. I feared that I would feel lonely and disconnected from the world. I was afraid that seeing a few clients each week would not be enough of interaction and impact for changing people’s lives.

Step one, I needed to notice the story I run and label that fear very clearly. That would go something like this:

If I work as a coach without any colleagues, I will feel lonely and disconnected from people. I won’t get the energy I crave from socializing and collaborating or gain as many perspectives, insights, and inspirations. I won’t be able to contribute and make a difference for many people because I won’t be in the business place where all important things and decisions are happening.

2. Challenge and question your fear.

Now that you have identified your fear and put a label on it, the next step is to challenge and question this fear. If you are strongly attached to fear and it feels really true, firstly ask yourself some questions to detach from it. I highly recommend the 4 questions suggested by Byron Katie*:

1. Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, move to question 3.)

2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (Yes or no.)

3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?

4. Who or what would you be without the thought?

It is very important to realize that your fear is only a thought in your head, just an idea out of many possibilities you chose to focus on. In other words, the only thing you are scared of here is a thought.

The only thing you are scared of is a thought.

In the world, where everything is possible, there is an unlimited amount of perceptions and beliefs. Everything you believe in your head reflects and manifests in real life as a projection of it. So, why not to choose a better feeling thought about it instead?

You can challenge your fear by going to the question that usually guides you straight to the other side of it:

What if the opposite is in fact true?

Because you have already written down your fear, you can now simply write down the exact opposite, quickly and easily.

Let’s return to my own fear to see what that would look like…

What if, working as a coach, I will have more colleagues and feel more connected to people. I will get even more energy from socializing and gain far more perspectives, insights, and inspirations. And I will make an even bigger difference for more people.

To think the opposite in the eyes of fear can feel stretchy and mind-blowing sometimes. Even if it doesn’t feel true at that moment, doing it still has a great benefit. It disrupts an automatic pattern within your brain. By not allowing your fear to be reinforced, you break the momentum and focus of it as a firmly-held belief. Sometimes only this question can be enough to stop your procrastination and enable you to move towards action.

3. Collect the evidence for an empowering thought.

Your fear has been named and you have challenged the legitimacy of that fear. The next step is to collect as much evidence as possible to support your new, opposite viewpoint.

“A belief is just a thought you keep thinking.” – Esther Hicks of Abraham-Hicks Publishing.

So, by re-imagining and re-focusing your fear and collecting fresh facts, you put the spotlight on the newly formed idea. You compound it until it becomes your new firmly held belief and has manifested itself in your life.

How did this impact my own fear?

One year after writing down, labeling and challenging my own fear, I realized it turned out to be even more opposite than I could have imagined back then. Now, I work at several offices and not only do I have colleagues/clients from all over the world but even better, now I get to choose them. This all has allowed me to find a healthy and natural rhythm where my working needs, my self-realization, and energy balancing needs are being met even better. Due to that, I now find myself more fulfilled and energized than ever before. And most importantly, it has allowed me to have a deeper and truer connection with people. Now, I am really able to be at the core where the most important things happen in life – people’s hearts and places of raw vulnerability. I’ve never lived my personal life’s purpose better.

Who could have thought it? This is this the thing about fear – it can never see what you will gain, it always only sees what you will lose.

Fear can never see what you will gain, it always only sees what you will lose.

What is the fear that stops you from living your life to its full potential? Did you ever consider that maybe, just maybe, the opposite is true? So, go on. Step one….name that fear.


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Shifting the Foundation

What we are up against
  • Shadow work”. Identify and integrate unwanted (often subconscious) aspects of yourself.
  • Work through the barriers, limiting beliefs and habits.
  • Work through emotional blockages and recurring patterns
  • Let go of fears and baggage – what is not serving you anymore

Building Your True Potential

What we go towards
  • Connect to your innate truth, talents and unlock your true potential.
  • Define your authentic self & discover your unique voice.
  • Develop self-love, self-worth & self-confidence.
  • Create an empowering belief system and new identity.