Category: blog

Do you notice in your surroundings how totally new business, social, technological, economical, and financial paradigms are rising? And do you notice how old systems are having a harder and harder time keeping up? Do you witness in your daily life already how some online platforms have increased level of various errors; how credit cards have all kinds of functioning issues; how control, rules, and terms are getting stricter; how prices are going up hand in hand with offering sometimes less value for it than before?

Well, I do notice that in my life. I will not elaborate on my reasons why (it’s not the purpose of this blog) but I believe FIAT infrastructure raises a lot of gloomy concerns for the future. Also, have you thought about what would you do if one day, you suddenly can’t access your bank account or use your card? As we saw in recent events in some countries, bank accounts, cash flow, and payments could be so easily blocked or access restricted to simple citizens or businesses.

You can close your eyes and may say: “but it didn’t happen to me, it’s far, it’s in another country…”. Well, let me tell you: “if it happened somewhere, it may easily knock on your door tomorrow”. And to put it in an even more confronting perspective: “the way our banking system and money governance is set translates into you not really owning your money because the bank does!

Due to that, in this blog, I want to bring the alternative and the buzzword “cryptocurrency”. Why crypto and why now, I elaborate in this live stream with David Khan. Check it out!

My aim with this article is very practical. It’s tailored to people who already know they want to set up your crypto portfolio, but just keep postponing because they feel overwhelmed by the information on the internet, don’t know where to start and how to address that “elephant in the room”. I would love to save you a huge research time and give you a super-simplified basic structure, and vocabulary. So, you could have a trampoline to start and have a manual of consolidated information in one place to build from there yourself.

Also, important to mention that I am not a financial adviser or cryptocurrency expert. I share the information which I collected and translated through me from my own research, experience, and a few cryptocurrency experts’ consultations.

1. Let’s start from the beginning. What is a cryptocurrency, and how does it work?

I would recommend getting familiar with the psychology and foundational concept of this new financial paradigm if you didn’t do it yet. I list some helpful videos to start. It can still be a bit complicated if you are not a technical person, but try to grasp as much as you can. In all fairness, most people don’t know how our current FIAT financial system works either. And we are talking about a totally different concept from its core. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time. Also, allow yourself how deep you want to go in exploring it. Needless to say, it’s time to take ownership of this topic, it’s time to stop slavery, and it’s time to own your life.

It’s time to own your money!

Suggested links:

Cryptocurrency explanation. A note: Not all Crypto-Currencies are meant to be used as a currency, there are other forms of blockchains or “crypto-currencies”, that were developed to do other functions than currency exchange such as Ethereum.

Explanation of the blockchain that cryptocurrency is built on and how it will change our economy?

Explanation of smart contracts (Ethereum, DeFi)

How Bitcoin and Cryptocurrencies are set up, and how do they actually work?

2. Why the setup of your security is key!

When the banks are taking care of your money, they take care of your security too. You don’t even think about it, but there are huge resources behind the scenes put into this. I know this a bit from the back end due to working in a cybersecurity company back in the day.

With cryptocurrency – you are your own bank, so you have to set up your security department yourself. I know it’s the extra thing you may not know about, but believe me, spending time on it and educating yourself will pay off in the future.

“Cyber attacks have been rated the fifth top-rated risk in 2020 and become the new norm across public and private sectors. This risky industry continues to grow in 2022 as IoT cyberattacks alone are expected to double by 2025. Plus, the World Economic Forum’s 2020 Global Risk Report states that the rate of detection (or prosecution) is as low as 0.05 percent in the U.S.” The source of this information and more about cybersecurity trends in 2022 you can find HERE.

Where to start?

Start with your everyday technology foundations if you didn’t do it yet: e-mail, enhanced password security, put 2FA (second-factor authentication) in place for your key matters, and leave all the companies which don’t have good security and privacy policies in place (de-google for example).

I elaborated on this topic in my other blog “Business platforms that enables your full sovereignty and data security”

I would recommend to set up a separate e-mail address you only use for crypto currencies and don’t use anywhere else. If you do, you expose yourself to vulnerability and can be hacked easier.

Also take into account the device you are going online with. Make sure your device has an updated anti-virus, firewall

Another important point is with regards to internet connection, most people have wifi at home, however many times you are on the go or travelling, never use a public wifi to do any important crypto related activities. In case you must use a public wifi make sure to invest in a reliable VPN (usually the free ones are not that reliable).

3. Think about the security of your “seed phrase”.

But what is a “seed phrase”? It is a summary of a few keywords that you may hear in the videos above and what you will encounter while addressing cryptocurrency in daily transactions. These are alternative words are like an IBAN number is to a bank account.

Now let’s look at some of the most common terms for crypto:

• Crypto tokens are a type of cryptocurrency that represents an asset or specific use and reside on their own blockchain.
• A public key is to cryptocurrency like an IBAN is to a bank account: the address on which you can receive money on a blockchain.
• The private key is what authorizes you to control funds attached to a public key and initiate transactions from that address. Don’t give your private key to anyone.
• Public and private keys are always created in pairs.
• A secret phrase is a human-readable master private key in the form of a sequence of words. It can contain an unlimited amount of public/private key pairs.

If a secret phrase/private key is lost, there is no way to retrieve it. There is no customer care to call, it’s absolutely your responsibility to take care of it. A lot of people lost cryptocurrency like that. So make sure you put enough attention to storing it securely.

A seed phrase, seed recovery phrase, or backup seed phrase is a list of words that store all the information needed to recover cryptocurrency funds on-chain. Wallet software will typically generate a seed phrase and instruct the user to write it down on paper. If the user’s computer breaks or their hard drive becomes corrupted, they can download the same wallet software again and use the paper backup to get their bitcoins back.

Here is the article with some suggestions on how to keep your recovery seed safely. Write it down on paper, and maybe store it in a few safe places in your house. Never take a picture, store it on a computer or icloud. These things can easily be tracked and hacked.

The next step is where to buy and where to keep your cryptocurrency.

4. Choose the exchange platform (centralized crypto management).

Exchanges are centralized platforms where you can buy and sell crypto.

Those platforms can also hold crypto for you but it’s not the safest place to leave your crypto there. That’s why it is also called “online wallet”. If something happens to those companies, your crypto is gone too. But the advantage is, you can always reach their customer care for help.

Some exchanges have credit card options, which can be a handy bridge between fiat currency and the crypto world in times of transition when you still need a foot in the FIAT world. But remember, ALL credit cards are operated by only 2 companies – Mastercard and Visa (even maestro is MasterCard). Cards are the most centralized form of payment. Most likely, cards will not exist in the future.

Some popular and strong exchanges at the moment (there are many of them. You can do some research and choose upon your liking):

• Crypto.com (Visa card option)
• Kraken Exchange
• Nexo (offer card options)
• Celsius network (offer card options)
• Blockfi (offer card options)
• Binance (Visa card option)
• Kucoin Exchange ( for exotic tokens and no KYC)
• FTX Pro (for exotic tokens, big launchpad)

5. Wallets (decentralized crypto management).

There are 3 big types of cryptocurrency wallets or in other words places where you keep your money safely:

• online (exchange platforms which we covered in the paragraph above),
• software (app),
• and hardware.

Each of these types of wallets has its own features, benefits, and shortcomings, and is thus going to be suitable for different types of people, too. Security-wise, paper wallets are seen as the best alternative, while convenience-wise, software and online ones should be your go-to options.

“Hot wallet” (apps)

A hot wallet is a cryptocurrency wallet that is always connected to the internet and a cryptocurrency network. “Hot wallets” are used to send and receive cryptocurrency, and they allow you to view how many tokens you have available to use. It’s good for day-to-day use.

A note: create a hot wallet on a second phone or an iPad without a sim card. Keep smaller amounts in your wallet, so you can trade or use it more easily than a hardware wallet.

Some recommended “hot wallets” (apps):

• Trust Wallet (only on phone) — This allows you to stake several coins to earn interest.
• Atomic Wallet (allows tokens)
• Exodus Wallet (phone and laptop)
• ZenGo (with a card, private key is your face ID)
• Monolith (ETH decentralised wallet with card option, although ETH fees are high at the moment)
• Muun (BTC only, supports lightning network (fast and cheap transactions in the BTC network)
• Bluewallet (BTC only)

“Cold wallets” (hardware)

As opposed to that, “cold wallets” are hardware devices that store your cryptos offline. Safety-wise, “cold wallets” are considered the best option – since they are always offline, you don’t need to worry about some sort of hacker stealing all of your cryptocurrency assets.

Recommended keeping big savings!

Some reliable “cold wallets”:

• Ledger Nano X and Ledger Nano S
• TREZOR T and TREZOR One
• Secure Wallet
• Cool S Wallet

Some extra security recommendations here:

• Make sure you buy your cold wallet directly from a reputable source, ideally the supplier. There’s no point in putting your crypto in a secure vault if someone else already has the keys.
• Don’t transfer from your Ledger straight to someone else, send it first to an Exchange (so it gets a bit lost in the transaction) or to a hot wallet, swap to a different token
• Or send it in a token that is not so traceable (Monero, Z-cash, Dash or a stable coin)
• Connect it through Metamask to trade ERC-20 or BNB

How to setup Ledger Nano S

How to setup Ledger Nano X

6. Which cryptocurrency to buy?

How many cryptocurrencies are there? Well, according to data from Statista, there are currently more than 9,900 in existence. New tokens are popping up all the time – each with a different use case and back story.

When it comes to how many cryptocurrencies will survive, it’s worth remembering that there’s a rather extensive graveyard of digital assets that are no longer active. Others were later outed as scams. 

But also there are very high frequency, stable coins that are growing and solving important solutions in the world. Nobody knows what will survive and not, this is where your free will and what you stand for come into place. In the end, it’s all about trust and which tokens collectively will decide to put their trust in as the future exchange.

Well, let’s start with this thought – the top listed coins are there for a reason. But even more importantly, check what they stand for, and what you want to support, what your intuition, body, and instincts are telling. It’s the beginning of a new financial era and with all beginnings, it can be a bit messy and overwhelming till it finds its solid ground.

7. Portfolio tools

You will notice some wallets and exchanges allow some cryptocurrencies but not others, and in the end, you may have a feeling that your cryptocurrencies are a little all over the place…

I would recommend organizing it and having your overview of what cryptocurrencies you have, how much, and what is your overall financial situation with some portfolio management tools. Here is the list of some recently evaluated apps for that.

8. Other helpful links

https://coinmarketcap.com/

Cryptocurrency Prices, Charts, and Crypto Market Cap | CoinGecko

Cryptocurrency Research Platform | Coin Market Capitalizations | Top 100 Cryptocurrencies | Coinpaprika

9. Crypto News

CoinDesk: Bitcoin, Ethereum, Crypto News and Price Data

Cointelegraph: Bitcoin, Ethereum, Crypto News & Price Indexes

10. Crypto Youtuber’s/influencers

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCavTvSwEoRABvnPtLg0e6LQ?app=desktop

https://www.youtube.com/c/CoinBureau

*This overview is double-checked by cryptocurrency experts I know and trust.

If you find this information helpful, please buy me and my team a cup of coffee or send me some crypto when you set it up as a token of appreciation. I share all this for free because I deeply care that you are supported as much as possible in these times of huge foundational society changes.

Our life is a constant expansion, development, and progression process. And yet we don’t really know how to handle it properly or allow a full depth of the process cycle. I notice this is where a lot of my clients get stuck, but also where I fell down over and over again, sabotaging myself back into my smallness.

In this blog, I want to talk about it in more detail.

1. Breath in phase…

It’s a growing, expanding, rising stage. It’s where you step in your bigger version of yourself or your business. Expansion happens in your breath in! And it is beautiful, uplifting, exciting energy.

We live in a world that easily allures us into the addiction of this stage. We are encouraged to just breathe in… and in… and in… That’s how we are told success is built.

Last year was quite a huge and stretchy leap in my business and my personal life. I think all year was just one big breath in all the time. All areas of my life were affected!

More about it you can read in this blog. Also, you can see some pictures of amazing Georgian nature. It literally steals my heart every day more…

2. But landing in your growth happens with breath out…

It’s an absolutely essential part of the process. We often tend to jump through it too fast and too soon due to our societal conditioning to be in the masculine “breath in” stage all the time…

It’s digestion time… It’s about giving proper time and space for all those changes to sink in. It’s unwinding, leaning in, receiving, surrendering, and recharging. And I realized, the bigger in-breath, the longer out-breath you need.

Slowing down like this can be quite scary to the body because it is not always comfortable. Shit comes up! Old doubts, stories, fears, wounds, coping strategies, etc. In other words, you will bump into the glass ceilings that were blocking you from the embodiment of that expansion in the first place.

I didn’t have the resources to give and had to pause my business. I took a sabbatical and for 6 months, I was asked very strongly to slow down and heal, release, integrate some parts that were left behind or needed more delicate attention, and space. I literally could go just as fast as the slowest parts of me were ready to.

And very importantly, I had to recalibrate my nervous system in safety, ease, and tenderness. Only this way, I could expand my capacity to receive, handle and hold more of new me, my new life, and what I want. Not with doing more…

3. And that weird twilight zone…

And then I reached that other funky stage. When I was ready to come out of my cave… but also not really…

Do you know that time in a day when it’s not clear is it a day or is it the evening already? That 15 min in a day of the twilight zone when you look in the sky and don’t know if it is light or is it dark already?

That grey area of your upgrade when you don’t fit in your old life shoes, but the new life is not firmly crafted yet either. When you are not old you anymore, but the new you didn’t clearly shape yet. Do you recognize it in your life?

This stage is also so damn uncomfortable and very sensitive. It requires a lot of patience, super self-love, and a lot of gentleness. I noticed if I rush this stage up and put myself out there too fast, I may get overwhelmed, attract unwanted energies and confuse myself even more. It’s like a baby learning to take the first steps with new upgraded you. You have to be extra kind, careful, supportive, and the biggest cheerleader of yourself.

And then…

My body was ready! And I came back with so much power that I keep surprising myself. And it also pours in everything I touch, I build, I create. It feels I have a capacity to hold the big new breath in and my next level up.

If you recently had huge expansions, let this blog be the invitation for you to allow slowing down, leaning in, and recharge. Let your nervous system recalibrate to safety. Let your body tell you what it needs and when it is ready. Your body knows, and there is so much wisdom you may miss if you don’t listen to it.

This is how you expand the capacity in your business growth. This is the work towards the success of YOU!

Continue reading “Expansion process”

Are you searching for Human Design Consultant/Analyst but don’t know which one to choose?

Well, there are 2 types according to my investigation. None of them are better or worse. It’s more what works for you and what do you need. So, there are:

CLASSIC ONES that follow the raw teaching and use the language of the founder Ra Uru Hu. Their aim is to transmute the knowledge and language by quoting direct source so it stays original. If that feels close to the heart, you can go to:

Jovian Archive (founded by Human Design father Ra Uru Hu and his family in 1999. You can find a long list of people to choose from including the original founder Ra Uru Hu recordings).

My personal favorite teacher who has her own school – Laveena Arches

MODERN ONES embody the material and aim to translate it through them and their own gifts. The purpose is to bring that information in an authentic form that people understand and relate to. For this, here are some examples, just to name a few:

Jenna Zoe . She became a world-leading expert in modern Human Design. I really love her way of teaching and translating. She has a lot of nice online tracks, developed “My Human Design” app where you can get nice information about your chart for free. Also, she has a list of Human Design experts trained by her. Check it out HERE.

Karen Parker is an awesome bridge between old and new. She studied with Ra, but then realized her purpose is to transcend the language of Human Design and created her own movement of Quantum Human Design. She created almost different Human Design translations, and it’s very personalized through her own teachings.

Ayla Verhijen has deep and embodied knowledge of Human Design. She took combines authentic Marketing education based on your Human Design. Really gem!

BG5 Business Institute (Business topics).

Samantha Zagar (Human Design and Therapy)

Amy Ruth (Human Design readings but also parenting packages)

Vaness Henry

Lidewy and she also hosts The institute of New Work.

And there are many more with different specializations and twists to it.

---

My own Human Design sessions

https://www.elairaflow.com/human-design-consultations/

I was trained by classic consultants who even worked directly with founder Ra himself. But in my sessions, I choose to be a Modern Consultant.

For me, it is key not only to share all the knowledge but that it really reaches you! I often adapt the language to people’s design, where generally energy flows based on their design and choose the journey intuitively.

I love to meet WHO and WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW in your life. Sometimes we focus more on conditioning and shadow areas, sometimes more on how to manage energy and make the right decisions for you, sometimes on the life path, core essence and traits, sometimes we go very practical business language about money and profit potential in your design, sometimes all of it.

For me, it is all about what is alive in you at the moment, how can I make it practical for you, how can we find the access point to go deeper to the core, how can it be helpful.

Otherwise, Human Design wisdom is just information, just another cool tool for your mind to play with but not really having a knowing what to do with it. And believe me, this tool is not built for that.

What is your experience with Human Design? And what are your go-to sources? Do you know what type of consultant/analyst fits you?

Appreciate my sharing? Send a gift of support.

BUILDING BUSINESS WITH FULL SOVEREIGNTY AND INTEGRITY. LEAVING ALL THE PLACES I SHOULDN’T BE…

Running a business with full personal freedom and integrity is what I stand for, what I care about hugely, and I believe that’s what our new “business paradigm” fundamentally is all about.

My allergy to manipulation and brainwashing reached an all-time high. I can’t tolerate even slightly what I sense or experience comes with the energy of harm, abuse, manipulation, deceit, destruction of nature, trying to control, limiting my freedom, don’t hear me or my needs, don’t honor my boundaries, and wants to take my power without my consent.

I believe it is just a matter of time, till privacy-intrusive services exploiting and manipulating our data disappear from the market.

So, for a while now, I did a huge “INTEGRITY AUDIT” of all the platforms, providers, partners, and tools I built my business with. I try to examine each new provider as much as I can. I look for what they stand for, their “why”, their values, their management, and team, their customer service, etc. In the end, it is a close relationship I go into here. Some services I use almost on a daily basis. I can’t stress enough what a huge impact energetically it had on me after leaving some of them.

Deeper I was digging, more shocking realizations came to me: “how deeply ingrained and normalized harm, manipulation, and abuse are in our society, structures, and everyday life…”. I kept thinking to myself: “How can we be OK with it? Why do we continue to allow it?”

As a result, I moved almost to all new platforms and some are still in the exploration stage. I would recommend starting with analyzing which platforms and data you want to have secure and where privacy is absolutely key for you. In case, you want to explore that for yourself too, here are some suggestions of my research:

• Email: Tutanota, Protonmail, Mailfence, Mailbox.org, Posteo (and even more on the additional links at the end of the blog).
• Calendar: Protonmail. For those who want to combine e-mail with a calendar, providers that offer that: Tutanota, Posteo, Mailbox, Collab now, Mailfence.

• Secure and private internet browsers: Brave, Firefox, Tor, Vivaldi.

• The Internet search engine that emphasizes protecting searchers’ privacy: Duckduckgo, Searx, Quant, Ecosia, Startpage.com (provides Google search results with complete privacy protection).

• Data storage: Tresorit, Nextcloud, Owncloud, Pcloud. And if you want to go even extra mile and have your personal cloud connected to wifi – Amber X is a great solution.

• End-to-end encrypted messenger for conversations: Signal, Element, Briar, Jami, Telegram.

• Some alternative social media platforms to explore Mastodon, Pleroma (alternative to Twitter), MeWe & Friendica (alternative to Facebook), Pixelfed (Instagram alternative), gab.com, thinkspot, minds.com, lbry.com, diaspora.

• Free speech video platforms: BitChute (alternative to youtube), Brighton (sponsored by Natural News), PeerTube, Vimeo.

• Security. Password manager (way to store, manage and generate strong passwords for all your platforms): Dashlane, Bitwarden, KeePassXC, LessPass.

• Extra security. Make sure you secure all or at least your key platforms and data with an extra level of security: 2-Factor Authentication (2FA) – Authy, or hardware authentication device (UFA) – Yubikees. The warning here, make sure you install 2FA on several devices and buy at least two UFA keys because if you lose one, there is no customer service that could help you to restore it. You have complete and ultimate ownership of it. So, have your extra “backdoor key ready”.

• For online security and privacy, use a VPN (Virtual Private Network). Here is probably the most extensive comparison list. It will secure your connection to the internet and give you more unrestricted & anonymous use of the web. In other words, it helps protect your online activities: sending emails, shopping online, or paying bills. Use is, especially when you are in public places.
• And last but not least, get your camera phone covers for all devices. Just search “camera phone cover” and you will find suggestions with sliding stickers costing just a few euros.

These are the great basic starting points in my opinion and if you prefer to go even further, here are a couple of great articles for that:

• Excellent page with technologies and systems summary for guidance and reference – Privacytools.io. Also, this one – Techlore.

• A page which shares many great articles with different technologies overviews and comparisons which can safe your research and decision time – Proprivacy.

• The complete list of alternatives to all Google products.

I will keep updating this page with new information I discover.

What are your favorite non-harming platforms and providers who act with integrity and security? Let’s help each other.

Appreciate my sharing? Send a gift of support.

‘I’m stuck! I don’t enjoy my career anymore but I’m not sure if I should start something on my own or if I should find another job. I’ve lost my passion for everything.’

This is the most common sentence I hear when people approach me for coaching. And when I dig a little deeper, I hear loss. I hear separation and disconnection from their own truth, people without a compass, trying to find their personal north. For some, it’s like waking up in a foreign country.

‘How did I get here?’

Let me tell you: step by step. And let me show you the way back which you may not expect.

Losing yourself doesn’t happen overnight. It happens when the ‘slave you’ do whatever your body urges you not to. It happens when you make small choices and big decisions according to the ‘not-self’. And it occurs whenever you don’t stand in your truth.

Loosing yourself doesn’t happen overnight. It happens when the ‘slave you’ does whatever your body urges you not to.

Little by little, day by day, you normalize the loss of your unique self until you don’t know who you are anymore and you wake in a foreign land, not knowing how to get home.

The real work doesn’t always lie in the obvious violation of your boundaries, your authenticity or your inner voice. Some people do struggle to enforce their truth in the big things but, for many, the work occurs where most of our daily life resides – in the small choices of life, the routine moments of the day.

Remember, everything you tolerate, you allow, so I would like to invite you to investigate all the small and big boundaries you ignore on a daily basis.

Keep in mind the various boundaries (emotional, mental, physical, spiritual, etc.) and watch for the following in all areas of your life:

• Every small ‘YES’ (while you mean ‘NO’ and when all ‘NOs’ start piling up).
• Every small ‘I HAVE TO’ (while you force yourself to be someone you’re not).
• Every time you swallow self-expression (and you repurpose valuable energy to suppress yourself instead).
• Every self-sabotaging story like ‘it doesn’t matter, it’s not important, it’s not a big deal’ (when it actually is a big deal, you risk betraying yourself).
• Every minute you stay in a place or with people ‘just to be nice’ (while everything inside you screams ‘I just want to leave right now, I can’t breathe anymore!’ This is self-abuse).

Remember, everything you tolerate, you allow, so I would like to invite you to investigate all the small and big boundaries you ignore on a daily basis.

The good news is that you end up stuck through your choices. The better news? You always have a choice. This is your fundamental right, and nobody can take that away from you.

So, what do you choose?

Where is your energy leaking? What are the blockages to your natural innate flow? Where have you allowed the ‘not self’ to make decisions on your behalf?

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I would like to share a beautiful story about how the world is changing in front of our eyes, the true bonds of affection and how chicken soup can be the new world money.

A young man approached me asking for my coaching services but unable to pay. I immediately noticed his huge potential and extremely beautiful pure heart. I saw this new world wisdom coming out of him which he was not aware of because it was so innate and natural for him, but it was often misunderstood by this world’s rules and rejecting his ways of being.

So, I asked him for some time to reflect and I returned with a newly adapted offer. I asked him to pay a symbolic fee within his budget; bring me some meals and when his financial situation is in a better place – to pay it forward to someone else who will be in need. He liked it and even asked me to put those meals in the contract, and so I did.

Lately, I had been very busy supporting people and I felt really tired. I couldn’t give anymore, so I decided to take a day off, to go within and recharge myself. And guess what? My new awesome client called regarding his meal delivery. Out of all the days, he decided to deliver the food on the day when I needed nourishment the most! Isn’t that the way nature works? A true way of abundance to provide you what you need, when you need it.

I was eating this homemade warm Indonesian chicken soup and my heart kept melting… I quickly realized, it was much more than just a nutritious meal. It was like this magical healing chicken soup made by a Grandmother. Do you recall those? The ones made from love and care. It quickly enriched all of my senses and took me back to those childhood days when I felt safe, carefree, loved and taken care of… I completely merged into it…

And then I thought to myself: What is the price for this moment?  How do you put the price tag on matters that you cannot measure but gives you warmth & true abundance in your heart?

I reflected even more deeply about the times we are in now, how the world is shifting and those young talented people already coming with so much wisdom beyond their years… They do challenge everything from the core. But not boldly, or the pushy way how we used to think about the revolution. They do it with so much more gentleness, openness, and love. I must say, they have much to give and teach us. And they need a different environment to flourish, to bring their new innate wisdom, innovation and different way of being that they already gently ask us for. They are open and seek guidance from us but the era where you tell people what to do because you are older, think to know better or because ‘we always did it this way’ is over…

The youth do challenge everything from the core. But not boldly, or the pushy way how we used to think about the revolution. They do it with so much more gentleness, openness, and love.

A lot of people are waiting for the business to come back to normal. But it is impossible… It will never be the same. If you really pay attention it was already changing in front of our eyes for a while. There is a reason why coaching became the second largest sector to grow in the world in a matter of just a few years. People are questioning things and we will start reshaping even more deeply the way we are or want to be, and how we want to relate which each other fundamentally.

It was talked a lot about how there is so much more than money can’t buy or pay for, how important to accept who you are and each other’s differences, but I guess the talking time is over and we finally have to create and daily live that world where the purity of individuality is above the power of dynamics, rules and rigid structures, where human needs and true connections are above the money and discussions of influence, where you can be you and I can be me.  Because if you are open to this possibility to live for real, it can bring you to unexpected precious places and open your heart, like this decision to help the person from the bottom of my heart did to me… And it doesn’t have to be big, sometimes it is enough just to really hear each other out and receive that Indonesian chicken soup that money can’t buy…

I guess the talking time is over and we finally have to create and daily live that world where the purity of individuality is above the power of dynamics, rules and rigid structures, where human needs and true connections are above the money and discussions of influence, where you can be you and I can be me.

The words of George Addair often ring through my head: “Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.”

That sounds great, doesn’t it? But what does it mean for you in your daily life? How do you actually do it? How do you go about finding the other side of fear?

When I read this quote, it almost seems like I just need to take one small step across the border between fear and no fear and everything will work out. However, as we know all too well, sometimes taking that first step can be an incredibly difficult and frightening thing. Sadly, there is no way around fear, no bypass. The only way to conquer the fear is to look it in the eyes.

I want to share with you my favorite way to deal with it. There are three steps to this technique.

1.     Name that fear!

First of all, you have to be really honest with yourself and name what kind of fear you are dealing with. This essential first step requires complete truth. Make a list, write it all down, put a finger on it and get to the core of your fear. It’s very important to label and correctly identify as they say “the elephant in the room”.

Ask yourself: “What is it that you are so afraid of?”

Here is a story of one of my own fears…

One of my excuses for not starting my own business was that I didn’t want to work alone. In my corporate career, I had a busy role which involved constantly interacting with people from all over the world. My office door was constantly swinging with people coming and going. It made me alive to be in the heart of business matters and being able to make the difference for people. I not only loved this interaction, but I also loved the opportunity to mix with a multicultural and diverse group of people.

This always gave me so many insights into people and allowed me to see different perspectives. It also invigorated me and provided me with tons of energy. I loved the feeling that is connected to people & business gave me, and I thrived on it.

So, I was very afraid that this need I had wouldn’t be met when I began working for myself as a coach. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to not have any work colleagues. I feared that I would feel lonely and disconnected from the world. I was afraid that seeing a few clients each week would not be enough of interaction and impact for changing people’s lives.

Step one, I needed to notice the story I run and label that fear very clearly. That would go something like this:

If I work as a coach without any colleagues, I will feel lonely and disconnected from people. I won’t get the energy I crave from socializing and collaborating or gain as many perspectives, insights, and inspirations. I won’t be able to contribute and make a difference for many people because I won’t be in the business place where all important things and decisions are happening.

2. Challenge and question your fear.

Now that you have identified your fear and put a label on it, the next step is to challenge and question this fear. If you are strongly attached to fear and it feels really true, firstly ask yourself some questions to detach from it. I highly recommend the 4 questions suggested by Byron Katie*:

1. Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, move to question 3.)

2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (Yes or no.)

3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?

4. Who or what would you be without the thought?

It is very important to realize that your fear is only a thought in your head, just an idea out of many possibilities you chose to focus on. In other words, the only thing you are scared of here is a thought.

The only thing you are scared of is a thought.

In the world, where everything is possible, there is an unlimited amount of perceptions and beliefs. Everything you believe in your head reflects and manifests in real life as a projection of it. So, why not to choose a better feeling thought about it instead?

You can challenge your fear by going to the question that usually guides you straight to the other side of it:

What if the opposite is in fact true?

Because you have already written down your fear, you can now simply write down the exact opposite, quickly and easily.

Let’s return to my own fear to see what that would look like…

What if, working as a coach, I will have more colleagues and feel more connected to people. I will get even more energy from socializing and gain far more perspectives, insights, and inspirations. And I will make an even bigger difference for more people.

To think the opposite in the eyes of fear can feel stretchy and mind-blowing sometimes. Even if it doesn’t feel true at that moment, doing it still has a great benefit. It disrupts an automatic pattern within your brain. By not allowing your fear to be reinforced, you break the momentum and focus of it as a firmly-held belief. Sometimes only this question can be enough to stop your procrastination and enable you to move towards action.

3. Collect the evidence for an empowering thought.

Your fear has been named and you have challenged the legitimacy of that fear. The next step is to collect as much evidence as possible to support your new, opposite viewpoint.

“A belief is just a thought you keep thinking.” – Esther Hicks of Abraham-Hicks Publishing.

So, by re-imagining and re-focusing your fear and collecting fresh facts, you put the spotlight on the newly formed idea. You compound it until it becomes your new firmly held belief and has manifested itself in your life.

How did this impact my own fear?

One year after writing down, labeling and challenging my own fear, I realized it turned out to be even more opposite than I could have imagined back then. Now, I work at several offices and not only do I have colleagues/clients from all over the world but even better, now I get to choose them. This all has allowed me to find a healthy and natural rhythm where my working needs, my self-realization, and energy balancing needs are being met even better. Due to that, I now find myself more fulfilled and energized than ever before. And most importantly, it has allowed me to have a deeper and truer connection with people. Now, I am really able to be at the core where the most important things happen in life – people’s hearts and places of raw vulnerability. I’ve never lived my personal life’s purpose better.

Who could have thought it? This is this the thing about fear – it can never see what you will gain, it always only sees what you will lose.

Fear can never see what you will gain, it always only sees what you will lose.

What is the fear that stops you from living your life to its full potential? Did you ever consider that maybe, just maybe, the opposite is true? So, go on. Step one….name that fear.

* THE WORK OF BYRON KATIE

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